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May 1, 2009

My life improved dramatically when I figured out that the busier I am, the happier I am. When my life is not busy, I get lethargic and grumpy. More than grumpy, I get depressed and mopey and generally not very fond of myself.

Since this discovery, I’ve been tweaking this – just how busy do I have to be? How much can I juggle before I crash?
Is 20 credits + live-in relationship + two leadership positions & a leadership program too much? (almost, I had two panic attacks that semester) How many sexual relationships can I handle before things start to fall apart? (depends on the relationships, though in general, 2.5) How many nights in a week can I spend not at my house before I start to twitch? (roughly four, depending on if they are consecutive or not) How can I fit the gym, work, socializing, and dating in to my life? Not to mention things like laundry and grocery shopping?

I love it. I love that puzzle, I thrive off of it. There are a lot of things that I’ve done to make it all manageable – I keep a routine for certain things, allow flexibility for others. (e.g. I go to the gym at least four days a week and wake up no later than 9 even on the weekends, but I try to keep my Monday-Wednesdays mostly open for impromptu plans.) I schedule things as far in advance as I dare – my weekends, especially, often fill up three or four weeks ahead of time. I use Google Calendar and a little black old-fashioned calendar. It’s even color coded with various highlighters.

But all that does me nothing if I forget to take care of myself. I’ve learned that in addition to my gym “me time,” I need to actually take a lunch – to step away from my desk for an hour in the middle of the day. I need to utilize the half hour – hour chunks of time in between socializing for myself by reading or writing. And once a week, I try to have an evening or an afternoon (or even an early Saturday morning) that is all to myself. I can tell when I need that day because I get tired and more easily irritated, and I’m perfectly willing to cancel plans to have that day. I’ve learned that if I don’t cancel my plans when this day is on me, I’ll end up cranky, not enjoying myself, and quite possibly making other people cranky as well.

So, last night, after about a week of constant socializing, I skipped out on my usual happy hour and went home. On time. I made C and I a vegetarian tomato curry (with Morning Star Chik Strips) that turned out really well and would have been even better if I had, you know, remembered to cook the rice. (I got the recipe from my new copy of The Fannie Farmer Cookbook, which I love and cannot praise more highly.) I did laundry. I read my crappy romance novel. I went to bed reasonably early. It was glorious, and exactly what I needed.

Despite being exactly what I needed, I noted that it was little odd to crawl into my bed alone and not have cuddles and warmth greeting me. I’m getting spoiled, I suppose. I know that it’s possible to have it both ways – to have alone time and still not be alone. I suppose when I work that out, I’ll be truly spoiled.

Happy May! (and Beltane)
Goals for May

  • Save more / Spend less
  • Loose 4 lbs
  • Consume less alcohol
  • Take vitamins every day
  • Spend more time with friends.
  • Get re-started on the current knitting project
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